who..whattttt...why me...

Earlier this year i had the supreme pleasure (*note sarcasm)of discovering I suffer from a disorder well actually two...sigh overachiever even in disorders!!.
For years i have just thought i was a little weird ,suffered bouts of depression and anxiety...never knowing the truth until now...Which leads me to..I suffer from BPD and PTSD... what a bunch of letters...no if only I was scared of the alphabet.
These shortened versions stand for Borderline personality disorder and Post traumatic stress disorder
I will be hashing out what this all means the signs the symptoms and my experiences with these disorders,to me this is my place to be me  ,sometimes I may post my thoughts on subjects that are not popular.. somethings may be triggering for which i will post a TW trigger warning ..and some days i will swear so be warned if your looking for perfect MOVE ON NOW....
About BPD
The main feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions. People with borderline personality disorder are also usually very impulsive, oftentimes demonstrating self-injurious behaviors (risky sexual behaviors, cutting, suicide attempts).
well crap that sounds great..sigh but wait

BPD traits (five of any 9 of these and bingo )

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
• Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating.
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
• Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
• Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms.           

well that all sounds like a dream come true doesn't it...ah no first of all half of it you need a dictionary to understand..well next time i,ll explain what BPD means to me and how it affects me and my life and maybe inspire and give someone hope that all is not lost....and a little about how PTSD plays a part in my life as well ...