Im going to church and trying to find a better way to be..
When i meet **** he is on the course i am on ..he flirts,he acts strange around me,he is very interested in the fact im a christian...I quite liked him he was a little weird but HE liked ME...
he pursued me..i wasn't sure i had briefly seen other people but i was shy and apparently in my day guys didn't find virgins attractive..(yes i got dumped because of this )
The course was over and i was a bit lost **** called me out of the blue and told me how much he liked me
I thought that was great and was really flattered no one had ever told me i was pretty,or made me feel special in any way..in other words i was a gonner...
**** parents were also Christians and so we went back and fourth between both my church and their church..the one problem being that **** really had a problem he smoked tons of pot ,drank and did what he wanted...I really cared about him and wanted to stay with him no matter what..lets face it my home life was way worse ..my sister was pregnant at 17 so dad was on the war path it was safer not to be at home ..why would i stay at home to watch my sister get bailed up and threatened while pregnant ..
I was absolutely besotted with **** his shit didnt stink i did anything he said without questioning him(bar sex)..i was accused of having sex with him by church members ..which broke my heart ..because i wasnt..and when i told them they chose not to believe me,they also told me my home life wasn't as bad as i made out ,that i was being dramatic...so fuck church and god
off i went with **** into the big blue yonder ,sex yep why not,booze yep sure why not,bit of pot sure why not...
to be continued.....
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