i learnt some important stuff the last few weeks ..things i have never heard before ...
something i hadn't been able to do but am now starting to do and its dam hard..
what is self validation? these couple of paragraphs made me really cry and become very frustrated all at once..so you could say it was triggering ... but worth the time..
self validation..
*when you are quietly able to acknowledge your emotions and reassure yourself what you feel inside is REAL,is IMPORTANT,UNDERSTANDABLE and makes sense...(bomb one dropped)
*it includes taking yourself SERIOUSLY,allowing yourself to feel what you feel (first emotion)think what you think,want what you want with ACCEPTANCE,and without judgements ,second guessing,self loathing ,self contempt....(bomb two complete)
that's the first time i have read my feelings are real,important ..
i broke down in tears and became so frustrated ...ive been lied to all my life..bastards!!
i was taught from a young age my feelings were not important,that i was imagining things ..that they were not real...
your not hungry i just fed you... stop crying, that didn't hurt,I've been told things I've seen in others doesn't exist and that my own depression is just a figment of my imagination ...that i shouldn't get anxious i should just not worry!! well fuck you!!(yes getting a little frustrated even writing this )but then that's understandable when you see how hard it is for me to take my own feelings seriously..after being denied my own voice for so long ... its a work in progress one day at a time and mini steps in the right direction....
wow..i can relate!!! same here..stop crying that didnt hurt...! Kids are to be seen not heard! Why would you do that! I was a constant burden to my mom..I was something she didnt want to deal with..felt unloved unwanted..and i was.!.we were to hard for her..she could not handle us and she made sure we new it! I was a extremely angry child...had no trust! learned the word promise and love were fake words that people say for no reason, and learned the real meaning of the word hate by age 13 because I felt it!! I don't wish for my worst enemy to feel hate...hate destroys you. I dont believe in coincidences; dont believe in god but know karma will kick you in your ass for sure..i will never get married...I don't trust anyone still; NO one because truth is you cant!! I can relate to what your saying because i learned all that by example..by it smacking me in the face over and over again when i was a child...and now im doing everything in my power so my kids never go through any of the very little that i mentioned.. I will tell you my kids have never said hate..ever !! They KNOW i love them and i dont have to say it(even though i do every day)..and they always go with first gut instinct!! has been installed in there brain sense they were babies..they never second guess anything they know i always have there back..they also get straight As and in my eyes are perfect...They will not get bullied i teach my children REAL..not fake..and they are great kids because of that and that only...because we have family issues and ive made same mistakes as my parents accept...(i dont lie,i tell them they can be pissed,tell them everyone makes mistakes,tell them what life is..)Its a merical im a live because of the shit I wasent allowed to feel when i was a kid..turned me into a maniac when i was a teenager/young adult...Its so important to let your children show you there feelings! Do not pretend your perfect(because no one is) and dont teach them to believe and trust in anything other them thereselves... God really..(dont even get me going on this subject lol).i preyed to god every night when i was a kid..god never saved me! My kids know listen to themselves and only themselves are going to change a situation putting your trust or faith in something you cant even see to save you will never work..!!! .anyways done with that rant...just could relate so much to your blog...all my shit came..blabbing out..lol (By the way...what ever im doing is working becasue i have great kids..and im far from a perfect mom~
ReplyDeleteglad you could let some steam off :)
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